InsightsLearning from the Systemic Field

Navigating Family Dynamics for Reconciliation

Lucy, seeking assistance for her strained relationship with her adult sons, expresses her desperation during our initial call. Despite having some insights into the breakdown, she remains perplexed about her sons’ apparent hatred. As we explore her history, it becomes evident that Lucy has engaged in numerous self-help reflections, attributing the situation to past abuse and life circumstances.

Lucy’s main concern is reconnecting with her sons, who refuse to communicate with her. As a fellow mother of adult children, I empathize with her pain. Contemplating the possibilities of salvaging the relationship, I ponder on how to guide Lucy toward peace and healing.

Opting for a Family Consultation, we delve into family dynamics. Using figurines to represent family members, Lucy unwittingly positions her children in a way that mirrors her perception of disrespect. Unveiling her past, she acknowledges resentment toward her father for not protecting her from her allegedly abusive mother. Placing her parents behind her, a generational shift away from her sons, Lucy acknowledges her anger and disconnection from them.

Shifting her perspective, I encourage Lucy to reconsider her relationship with her parents. The defense mechanisms break down, revealing buried love and compassion for them. Gratitude emerges for the support they provided in developing her talents. This breakthrough marks the beginning of Lucy’s healing journey.

Turning her attention to her elder son, Lucy notices the power dynamics represented by their figurines. Adjusting their positions leads to further emotional release, making her feel stronger. The session highlights the interconnection between Lucy’s relationships with her parents and her sons.

As Lucy transforms the representation of herself from a little girl to a taller woman, a remarkable change occurs within 70 minutes. Empowered, Lucy gains the strength to approach her sons as a capable mother rather than a needy child. The session concludes with practical tips derived from the constellation process. This narrative underscores the significance of our relationship with parents and its impact on our interactions with our children. Reconciliation with parents is a crucial step in fostering healthy connections with our offspring. The story emphasizes that harboring judgments against our parents can hinder our ability to maintain successful relationships and stresses the importance of embracing the healing journey. Through Family Constellations, we gain profound insights beyond our current understanding.