Learning from the Systemic Field

Review of May constellations workshop

I’m left in awe of the Constellations we witnessed in a fantastic workshop.

Standing in the family system.

We opened the workshop with some introductions.

Some Q&A followed about the origins of Family Constellations and the inclusion within the Field of Wholeness.

We then proceeded with a Mind’s Eye Constellation setting up the family systems that we belong to behind ourselves. The experiences varied. Some participants had this experience in previous workshops and found that the gaps in the family system had closed as they had worked through them during past Constellations. The new participants found this exercise emotional in the observation of these gaps.  

Yes, trauma and exclusions in the family system create these gaps.  

Third-party involvement in a family dispute

We firstly set up a family struggle with the supervision of a family advocate.  

The mother set up the Constellation.  

She chose representatives from the online group. None knew her or her situation. As the Constellation developed, a picture emerged that, as per the mother, was accurate to the character of each person she had set up.  

What was the intent of the Constellation?

To set up a good outcome for each family member involved.

Did we reach that?

The mother received insights that strengthened her, not at the cost of another, but within herself. These insights helped strengthen her purpose in understanding the circumstances that she was not consciously aware of. She found a deep sense of compassion for herself and all the other parties involved. This newly realized compassion will help her find her inner peace in whatever outcome she is about to face.

The Constellation rested when the child was in a safe environment.

Too many crossroads

Next, we set up a Constellation that involved a combined business and personal path of choices to be made. The move from confusion to clarity was beautiful to observe.

We tend to clutter our minds with problems and obstacles that appear too big to handle. The tendency is to give up rather than to pursue. An inner chuckle came up in me when the client’s dream became even more significant than she had anticipated.  

It was a “Wow”!

Clear instructions, which were very helpful to the client, came forward on how the possibilities could evolve.  

The Constellation was in flow once the clarity presented itself.

Exclusion and its consequence

When a family is in chaos, it is difficult for every family member to find their flow in life. The next participant portrayed great courage in sharing her emotional exhaustion, trying to hold the family together. This raw vulnerability required much of me as a facilitator to find a good way forward with all the hurt, pain, and trauma in the field. 

We often reject what we don’t want to see. 

We take ourselves out of the family system when we cannot cope with our trauma and pain.

The family system does not allow the exclusion and therefore lands in confusion.

Everybody gives their best to bring it back together.

Acknowledging all the trauma in existence, we forged a reasonable path forward in creating the order of belonging in a good way.

The Constellation settled peacefully. I trust it was a healing Constellation of the client who was so brave to set up the Constellation for her healing and the healing of the family members involved.

Family matters

When do you involve yourself in the matters of your family members, or when do you distance yourself from their life journeys?  

That is a question too many of us have to face from time to time. It is so difficult to step away when you have all the answers for the other. You see the path. They need to follow the way you see it.

Is it up to us to involve ourselves in this way?  

There are no clear-cut answers to this question.

We saw in this Constellation a situation the participant had a sense of knowing of but wished to discount. What she witnessed in the Constellation brought up more questions than answers.  

How was the setting up of this Constellation beneficial to her?

She gained insight into the entanglements that presented themselves. These insights allow her to find the answer to her original question of whether she would or would not be involved in this family matter.  

The clarity for her was that the involvement not be as a rescuer but as a family member who cared and with her gained insight would have a different and more healthy approach to the situation.

The dance of survival stress and resulting distress

What happened next I did not see coming. Survival stress and despair are overwhelming for many of us.  

We set up various elements:-stagnation, martyrdom, control, money, and lack of trust. Each danced with and around survival fears. The movement of each component and permission to voice fears created a variety of emotions within each participant. We observed this dance, and the emotions involved in each situation brought the futility of this dance into consciousness.

Yes, each of us attempts to create a good flow of abundance for ourselves, yet we hit one hurdle after another. The emotions of anger, frustration, helplessness, and overwhelm all were consciously exposed and acknowledged.

Eventually, the dance slowed down, and a transformation of emotions. Slowly, the dance changed into a wavelike calming movement with True Being taking the lead. The following movements brought about a flow and connection to honorable abundance and the nobility of the experience in our True Being.  

Our True Being rests in a wave of peace.  

We witnessed and learned in this Constellation that when we genuinely connect to our innermost self, the fear of survival does not exist. 

Living in Awe and Gratitude

I am genuinely grateful for the learnings I received through facilitating a Family & Systemic Constellation this past Sunday. 

I am thankful that we as people are willing to heal family and systemic patterns that no longer serve us in the Field of Wholeness. 

By consciously connecting to the darkest parts of our system, we bring these exclusions into possibilities of healing.  I feel blessed that, as a facilitator, I am an observer of the flow of healing that is experienced.

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